Tag Archives: Family

Disciplining, Discipling, and Loving Your Kids – Part 3

LOVINGI’m sure we have all found ourselves shushing our children at some point. Hopefully, we were trying to let them know that it wasn’t the right time for them to be talking or teaching them how to be polite when someone is on the phone. Have you heard anyone say, “Children should be seen and not heard”? Well, that is the opposite of the Bible, where Jesus himself says to let the little children come to me.

Spending time together as a family means that you are seeing and hearing your children. Part one of this series spoke of the importance of disciplining your children. Part two reminds us that we need to disciple our children. Part three is loving your kids and to do that, you need to spend time together.

Proverbs 3:1-6 says, “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

You can’t teach if you aren’t spending time with your kids. You need to be a model for your children. If they see Jesus in action through you, that is going to go a lot further than if you tell them to go read their Bible. PK has done his share of visits to the hospital and he said never on someone’s deathbed have they wished for a better job or more money. People always wanted their family with them.

How do you spend more time with your kids when the reality is the world we live in is so demanding, expensive, and busy. You don’t need more time because you will just fill it with more stuff. You need to make more out of the time you do have. Use your time wisely.

What’s important to us as parents, will be important to our kids.     -PK

I’ve put PK’s quote in all three parts of this series. You need to think of this and remember it when you are frustrated that you are out of time. Let’s face it, things are never going to go the way we planned. If we wait until conditions are perfect, well, we’ll be waiting a long time and life will slip by. PK said someone once told him to, “Enjoy the suck”. Yup, it’s all part of life. How are you going to deal with it and spend time with your kids?

Kids know the difference between a hard worker and ambitious greed. They will respect you for hard work. I mentioned previously that I’ve just finished musical season. The week of the show, I was gone from 7:00 in the morning until 9:30 at night. My kids came to the show and afterwards, my oldest (who isn’t really into shows) told me it was really, really good. Hard work is noticed by kids.

I want to finish with this quote that PK shared. Barbara Bush said it at commencement in 1990 for Wellesley College. It’s a little long, but read to the end and then be sure you go out and live it. Love your kids.

“Cherish your human connections: your relationships with family and friends. For several years, you’ve had impressed upon you the importance to your career of dedication and hard work, and, of course, that’s true. But as important as your obligations as a doctor, lawyer or business leader will be, you are a human being first and those human connections — with spouses, with children, with friends — are the most important investments you will ever make. At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend, or a parent. Maybe we should adjust faster, maybe we should adjust slower. But whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children — they must come first. You must read to your children, hug your children, and you must love your children. Your success as a family … our success as a society depends not on what happens in the White House, but on what happens inside your house.”

 

I Feel Like I Yelled at My Family All Weekend

You are a mist that appears for a little 2

I woke up this morning after half heartedly sleeping and felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It’s Monday morning, the weekend is over. In fact it was a three day weekend because I took off on Friday. But, my only thought was, I feel like I yelled at my kids all weekend. What did I do? What was I thinking?

My weekend consisted of spending 2 hours cleaning up one of the kid’s bedroom and going through winter/summer clothes.  The rest of that day was spent trying to clean up my bedroom. The next day consisted of the kids taking out everything I had put away and I spazzed out on them. My room looks like a bomb hit because laundry didn’t get put away.

I did my monthly food shopping. It took three hours and when I got home, while the bathrooms had gotten cleaned, laundry wasn’t away, and it was like pulling teeth to get them to help carry stuff in.

My husband and I worked on finishing screening in our back porch, which already had been hit by a ball. Neither of the screen doors I got fit well. He had to return one because it was so warped and we had to piecemeal it together with a 2×4 to fit the opening because doors come in 30″, 32″, and 36″ and I needed 34″.

Early Sunday morning was spent getting stuff ready for lunches, making desserts, and getting stuff ready for church. The evening was spent trying to find stuff for a munchy dinner, getting a kid to practice trombone, and cleaning up after the lawn mowing.

Seriously, where did the weekend go? I was so busy doing stuff, trying to cram the whole to do list in that I’m not even sure I enjoyed many moments with my kids. And now, it’s time to go back to work, the kids are off to school and we’ll have a total of about 4 hours together before it’s back to bed. What I have I done? Is this what the kids will remember of me when they grow up?

James 4:13-17 says, “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”

I am a mist and I am not proud of the way I spent my weekend and treated my family. And yes, I’m a pastor’s wife. We had some fun times in there too, but

I need to remember Proverbs 21:23 and speak gently. My morning quiet time was a tear filled plea for forgiveness. My first words to my family need to be words of kindness and love. I need to remember this morning, so I don’t wake up again with that hollow pit. I need to do better. I love my family so much.

Love Your Kids – Day 26

Love Your Children and Have a TV Dinner

So yesterday I wanted to encourage you to eat dinner together at the table. Today, I’m saying have a TV dinner together. Does this really work? Yes, because it is a time to be together while doing something you probably enjoy together, watching TV.

A TV dinner creates a different family environment. I’m sure your family has a favorite show. Do your kids know the theme song lyrics? Do you? Do you sing them together while eating cheeseburgers?  Do you laugh together at the antics of the characters? Laughing together as a family is so refreshing. Just thinking about it brings a smile to my face. These little snippets of time together is life happening.

There might be some spills and I know that will be frustrating, we’ve been there. But, clean it up and get back to the show. Talk about what’s happening or if somebody does something mean, remind your kids that you don’t do that. Love your children and have a TV dinner once in a while. It will be a fun time to see what makes your kids laugh or frightens them. And when dinner is over and the show goes on, snuggle up together and enjoy holding your kids close.