Tag Archives: discipline

Disciplining, Discipling, and Loving Your Kids

DISCIPLINING

I just finished up an intense couple of months at my job. I’m a secondary music teacher and it was musical season. You can read about that here. Many days I spent more time with my students than I did with my own kids. So, the message PK gave on Family Time really hit home. I didn’t completely ignore my kids, they had lunches made, laundry was clean, and dinner was always available. But, I missed them and the little interactions we have at random times together when we are home.

So, the question is, “What do you want your kids to remember?” I’ve cried before thinking that all my kids will remember is me yelling at them to pick their stuff up. Will that overshadow the great love I have for them? I hope not and so I try not to get so worked up about all the junk! Really though, I need to cry over the question, “If I die, will they still love Jesus?” This forces me to look at myself and how I am living and how my children see me.

What’s important to us as parents, will be important to our kids.       -PK

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” In order for our kids to know Jesus, whether we are by their side or not, we need to discipline them. Disciplining your children is not necessarily a popular topic, but the Bible does talk about it.

Proverbs 23:12-14, “Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge. Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.” This is not saying how to punish them, but why children need discipline. Disciplining your children doesn’t mean you hate them, but it means you love them and want them to know that they were wrong. And when you love Jesus, and share His love with your children, you are giving them the tools to save them from death.

Then, when you have text conversations like this (yes, I believe butthead is a multi-generational word):

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You remind yourself that Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” Therefore we encourage our children to give hugs not hits, kisses not kicks, and to say words that build each other up. And we do that because it shows them how to love and we have text conversations like this where big brothers ask if little sister is ok:

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The truth is, disciplining your child is part of your job as a parent. Sometimes you have to bring out the discipline that will really impact your child. If that means no electronics, then stick by it and mean no electronics. You, and only you, will know what discipline works best for your family. Use discipline as an act of love so they learn what is important to you. Then, you will be confident that you did your best and that they will not turn from your teachings, which, if they are based on the Bible, are excellent teachings for them to know.

Next time, some thoughts on discipling your child.

 

 

Avoiding the Thorns

May 2013 001In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who guards his soul stays far from them. Proverbs 22:5

Back in Proverbs 1:7, I wrote about the definition for the word discipline. One definition is a behavior which follows rules. So, today I ask, how many of you are disciplined? Are you disciplined enough to show up to work on time, get to sports practice promptly, or meet friends for dinner at the designated time? Now, I ask again, how many of you are disciplined? Are you disciplined enough to stop what you are doing and really listen to someone who is talking to you, to watch the words you say, or to show up on time to church for worship?

The Proverb for today says, “In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who guards his soul stays far from them.” Recently I was cutting back my rose bushes. I don’t know whether it is the season for that or not, but they were kind of scraggly looking so I decided to do it. To get to a couple of branches for the best cut, I had to stick my arm into the bush. What’s on the stems of roses? Thorns. So, as I went for the cut, I tried to maneuver my arm through the stems without catching my gloves and arms on the thorns. I wasn’t very successful. I could feel the thorns snagging my gloves and could definitely feel the thorns scratching my skin. After, I cut and carefully pulled my arm back out, I had to pull some thorns from my gloves.

Life and being disciplined for things in life is full of thorns, or traps, and snares that want to keep you away from Jesus. It’s kind of like cutting back a rosebush and trying to avoid the thorns. Life is hard. There is bad stuff that the world wants to catch you in. You want to try to avoid those thorns. What can help? Well, be disciplined. And by that I mean for the things that Jesus and the Bible say are important, like loving your neighbor, guarding your mouth, and worshipping with others and telling others about Jesus. Praying, spending time with Jesus, and making Him a priority are going to help you avoid traps. Is it easy? No. Does it take work? Yes. Will you fail and be snared? Yes. Will your journey with Jesus by your side be easier? Yes.

I encourage you today, to watch out for thorns. Whether it is negative people, overscheduling, or sleep which makes you late, try to avoid them. Bob and weave your way through life, keeping your eyes focused on Jesus. He wants to guide you. You need to let Him.

In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who guards his soul stays far from them. Proverbs 22:5

Teach Discipline and Discipline Too

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Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17

When I hear the word discipline, it brings up two meanings. Back in Proverbs 1:7, I defined it as sticking with something or reprimanding someone for doing wrong. The dictionary defined it as a behavior which follows rules. Now, no one really likes rules, especially those which infringe on me, myself, and I needs. But as a parent, it is my job and my responsibility, to teach my children discipline and to discipline my children.

Discipline is no easy task for any parent. Admit it, those baby blue or brown eyes and quivering lip make the drill sergeant in you break down a little bit. The thought of, “should I let it slide this time?” runs through your head and a nagging voice replies, “no”. Then, you sigh and try to figure out the best way to handle things, because really your child didn’t come with a book about how to raise him or her. While disciplining your child might not be your favorite task, please make sure you do it.

Teaching your children discipline requires you giving them age appropriate responsibilities. It requires time and commitment from you. For example, taking the time to teach your children how to brush their teeth will give them pearly whites for years to come and save you some money at the dentist. I always tell my children about the sign that hung in my dentist’s office growing up. It said, “Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you”. After all, who doesn’t have a child who just chews on the brush? If you don’t take the time to instill this important habit while they are young, then when?

Disciplining your child to follow rules and learn right from wrong is hard. It will crush your heart as you punish them. I know in our house, if a child has been mean to a sibling, taking away weekend computer time is the worst punishment ever. They always survive because kids are so good at getting into something else, but sometimes it will even seem like a punishment for you. Children need to learn boundaries and that there are consequences for their actions. If you don’t take the time to instill right and wrongs in your child, then who will?

Your children should be a “delight to your soul”. This doesn’t mean every day is going to be rosy and you won’t get stubborn responses and have cringeworthy moments in public. It does mean that at the end of the day and as you watch them play with friends and you kiss them goodnight, that they bring you joy and you are happy with the job you are doing of raising them. After all, aren’t our kids a reflection of ourselves to a certain degree? Love your kids and be strong and discipline them.

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Your Kids – Day 1

Love Your Children Enough to Discipline Them

Wow. This seems like a tough one to start with. But, after a weekend where the rooms in your house seem to get smaller and smaller and the voices playing get louder and louder, it’s important to set some boundaries. I am not just talking about the big things, like, “Look both ways before you cross the street”. I mean the smaller things that you could let slip by. Something like, “Get out of here, I don’t want to play with you” from one sibling to another. You can’t just let that slip by.

Stop what you are doing and tell your children, “We are a family and you will not leave your brother/sister out”. If you, as a parent, are disciplined enough to stop what you are doing and point out that saying something like that is wrong and hurtful, then you are telling your children that those words are not appropriate. Sure, it might seem like you are forcing your kids on one another, but it is a moment which will go beyond your home, to the bus, school, church, and stores. Wherever your child goes!

Love your children enough to discipline them and by doing so, you are telling them what is acceptable. It is also telling them what is expected of them in their actions.