I woke up this morning after half heartedly sleeping and felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It’s Monday morning, the weekend is over. In fact it was a three day weekend because I took off on Friday. But, my only thought was, I feel like I yelled at my kids all weekend. What did I do? What was I thinking?
My weekend consisted of spending 2 hours cleaning up one of the kid’s bedroom and going through winter/summer clothes. The rest of that day was spent trying to clean up my bedroom. The next day consisted of the kids taking out everything I had put away and I spazzed out on them. My room looks like a bomb hit because laundry didn’t get put away.
I did my monthly food shopping. It took three hours and when I got home, while the bathrooms had gotten cleaned, laundry wasn’t away, and it was like pulling teeth to get them to help carry stuff in.
My husband and I worked on finishing screening in our back porch, which already had been hit by a ball. Neither of the screen doors I got fit well. He had to return one because it was so warped and we had to piecemeal it together with a 2×4 to fit the opening because doors come in 30″, 32″, and 36″ and I needed 34″.
Early Sunday morning was spent getting stuff ready for lunches, making desserts, and getting stuff ready for church. The evening was spent trying to find stuff for a munchy dinner, getting a kid to practice trombone, and cleaning up after the lawn mowing.
Seriously, where did the weekend go? I was so busy doing stuff, trying to cram the whole to do list in that I’m not even sure I enjoyed many moments with my kids. And now, it’s time to go back to work, the kids are off to school and we’ll have a total of about 4 hours together before it’s back to bed. What I have I done? Is this what the kids will remember of me when they grow up?
James 4:13-17 says, “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”
I am a mist and I am not proud of the way I spent my weekend and treated my family. And yes, I’m a pastor’s wife. We had some fun times in there too, but
I need to remember Proverbs 21:23 and speak gently. My morning quiet time was a tear filled plea for forgiveness. My first words to my family need to be words of kindness and love. I need to remember this morning, so I don’t wake up again with that hollow pit. I need to do better. I love my family so much.